Christmas: A Guide for Weirdos!

I’m not a Christmassy person at all and I’m sure I’m not the only one. So I’ve decided to write a “guide” for all the weirdos out there in the world who are in need of an advice on how to “survive” during the most annoying time of the year. I guess the only silver lining is that we can all get drunk and eat A LOT, because you know, it’s tradition! Anyway, whether you celebrate Christmas or another event, or even if you don’t celebrate at all, here’s a list of movies that I watch during this holiday season and that make everything a lot more bearable (especially the dinners with parents you only see on Christmas!).

Of course movies like Home Alone (click here for the drinking game rules and have a blast!), Home Alone 2, Scrooged and A Christmas Story are a must but then I need something that satisfies my weird side:

  1. Black Christmas (2006)

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Nothins says IT’S CHRISTMAS more than see someone eating baked biscuits made out of human skin. Delicious!

A group of sorority sisters find themselves being harrassed by threatening and intimidating phone calls during Christmas break and as one of the girl goes missing, the girls begin being murdered one by one. Sounds like I’ve spoilered the whole thing, but don’t worry there a lot of interesting twists during the movie.

2. Female Trouble (1974)

tumblr_nyw5q8sgzs1rpbqpfo1_500Okay, I’m sure this is not you ordinary Christmas movie, but I love John Waters movies (yes I’m a bit kitsch on the inside!) and Divine as Dawn Davenport is the most beautiful thing.

Dawn Davenport is a high school girl who runs away from home due to her parents’ refusal to buy her cha-cha heels on Christmas. She journeys to the city, and is raped and impregnated en route. The film hilariously and disgustingly recounts her exploits, as she becomes a thief, an inept mother who will not allow her daughter out of the house, and a test victim for two deranged owners of a beauty salon. Yes, this movie is not for everyone, is trashy, politically uncorrect and very graphic, but this season needs a good kick, it can’t all be fluffy and nice and everything smells of cinnamon… it has to be a bit shitty, just like life after all.

3. The Gingerdead Man (2005)

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If I’ve got to pick a flavour for Christmas I’d say Gingerbread, it tastes great and the mix of spices really makes you think of nice things and cuddles. Of course everything changes when your lovely gingerbread man biscuit turns into an evil killer. If the level of trashiness wasn’t high enough after mention Female Trouble then here we definitely reach that level.

A criminal who is sent to the electric chair, comes back to life as a Gingerbread Man, and goes out to kill the woman who sent him to jail.

4. Santa’s Slay (2005)

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Last, but not the least, kids’ favourite old man (eeww that sounds gross!). Time for a very pissed, but quite hilarious, Santa.

Santa Claus is actually a demon who lost a bet with an Angel, so he becomes the giver of toys and happiness. But when the bet is off, he returns to his evil ways.

christmas-ballball

These are the kind of movies you would watch with friends, but if you a loner (welcome to the club!), there’s no better company than a bottle of wine…or vodka!

Hope you all going to have a fantastic time my fellow weirdos! Christmas season can be “tricky” sometimes, but with an extra bit of weirdness (and alcohol) I’m sure we can all survive!

Elle. xx

 

 

 

 

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